After an incredibly long hiatus from the world of blogging, something has drawn me back in...and aren't you all so f'in grateful!!
So what has been happening in my life since my last post...a hellovalot actually!! I'll spill some beanage in the form of a short but concise list:
* I finished my degree and got a slightly dissappointing Second considering I'm hella clever but a slightly impressive Second considering I never used to go to Uni!!
* Have almost completed a Post-Compulsory PGCE (for all you dumb shits that's a teaching qualification to be used in colleges and adult education)
* Relationships have ended and new ones have begun
* Friendships have been put on hold while others have blossomed
* I have a new outlook on life: "Live each day as if it's your last. Embrace every opportunity and don't let chances pass you by. Stop existing...start living"
* Due to my new outlook on life, come 2011, I am bundling some clothes and some prized possessions in a backpack, punching £10,000 in my pocket and setting off across the other side of the world, leaving everything behind and making the most of the short time I have on this beautiful earth.
So there you have it, some important changes in the past year that have shaped and moulded the person I always wanted to be...and I couldn't be happier!!
So now your back up to scratch with what's been happening with me, let's begin this blog as I mean to go on...telling you pointless shit that has happened throughout the course of my day that will either inspire you or make you wonder how morally deprived a human being can get!!
Got up at 8:30 this morning, hot as all hell in my room. I was thinkin about getting up and opening the window but really couldn't be arsed so I just laid there, soaking in my own salty juices (lulz). I got up and had me some delicious cereal with a cup of rosey - life was certainly bright this morning!!
I planned to get to the gym for 9:30 but things - and by things I mean Facebook - got in the way so didn't end up strolling in there til 10. Hot German girl was on the reception today and realising I looked like unshowered, just got out of bed shit, I didn't even attempt a smile at her...just the usual monotonal 'gym please'. Regardless of my unattractive attitude, she still smiled and let me through the gate - must be a German thing :)
I get in the gym...busy as a freshly laid dog turd with the flies catching whiff. I decide to skip the weight training and grab the only remaining treadmill. Put my earphones in...put some FOUR YEAR STRONG on the iPod...whack 45 minutes into the onboard computer...set my speed at 10kmh and get my legs a working!!
The contagious vocals with addictive lyrics make my run a happy one with the occassional drum sicness that helps me keep a frenetic pace. Overall things were going great...until something extremely surreal happened...
Around the 38 minute mark, a girl that I frequently see at the gym - around 5'6, slim, blonde, about 20-21 - decides to jump on the treadmill next to me and smile at me in the mirror. I smile back and think nothing of it.
Around 39 minutes, I realise she still hasn't started her run and is still stretching and occassionally smiling at me. I attempt to smile through the absolute agony of the run but strain my face in the process - probably looking like I am halfway through an unexpected crap!! Regardless, she continues to smile.
Around the 41 min mark, she begins her attack and I begin my defense:
Gym Girl: "Hey"
Me (panting like an asthmatic rapist): "Sup"
GG: "Wow, have you really run for that long?"
Me: "Erm yup!"
GG: "Thats really good, I'll only do about 20 mins and be out of breath. I'm not much of a runner"
Me: "Me neither, really"
GG: "I don't believe you"
Me: "Whatever, believe what you want"
GG: (Smiling): "How often do you come here? I see you pretty much everytime I come down here"
Me: "About 4 times a week. Usually not Wednesday"
GG: "I thought I never saw you on a Wednesday"
Me: "Fair enough"
(Silence for a minute or so)
GG: "Do you go out in Romford, I think I've seen you?"
Me: (really distracted and annoyed): "Look, can you just let me do my run in peace and we can talk afterwards?"
GG: "Um yeah sure"
Needless to say she wasn't still at the gym when I finished my run. I mean come on, I saw her when I walked in and when I was just wandering around wondering whether I should do some weights or just jump straight on the treadders, why didn't she approach me then?! Or when she has supposedly seen me in Romford, why not come up and be like "hey, you go my gym, let's talk while you are not sweating your ass off after doing approx 40 mins of continuous running?!" She was pretty and I'm sure she was a nice person but her game was weak and that put me off immediately. Also, why would you wanna talk to me when the only times you have definately seen me is when I am drenched in sweat, looking like I want to die!!
Don't get me wrong I am flattered and I appreciate that you notice my hard work but pick your moments wisely. What will I do if I ever see her again? Probably apologise for being such a dick and actually talk to her, at the end of the day she had done nothing to warrant me being a royal chode to her but I will have to explain about the whole running thing and that hope that works as a viable apology...
...if it doesn't, I'll just say that it was Roid Rage and attempt to rip my shirt off while growling loudly and throthing at the mouth ala The Hulk! I don't know what I hope to achieve from that but it might be something to look back on fondly in the future when I'm 45, still living with my parents and without spouse...wondering what might have been if I had given Gym Girl half a chance to speak to me :)
So what am I doing with this remarkable sunny evening? Well, remember that new relationship I mentioned earlier?Yeah well I will be seeing the current lady in my life for a little while who I cannot wait to see cos she is bluddy loverly! Then I am seeing 2 of my best buds for what we entitle 'Thirsty Thursdays'...meaning we go to the pub, eat nachos and drink beer :)
Before I finish up my first of what will be many blog entries...I just wanna welcome you all back to this crazy life of mine and hope that you are intrigued, humoured and frankly a little offended!!
Peace out you beautiful people!!
Joey x
PS - London transport in roasting hot weather sucks ass as this photo illustrates:
People are looking at me funny now after taking this photo!!
Posted via iPhone
Location:Blackwall Tunnel Northern Approach,Poplar,United Kingdom
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